


Homely

by JackyM



Category: Welcome to Night Vale, wtnv
Genre: Carlos is a Good Boyfriend, Cecil Is a Good Boyfriend, Dorks in Love, Episode Style, M/M, cecilos - Freeform, they are dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 19:50:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6092118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackyM/pseuds/JackyM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Night Vale's resident have been a bit wary of outsiders after recent events. Plus, a look at horoscopes and an update on Hiram.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Homely

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty! So, it's Carlos Appreciation Week on Tumblr and the prompt for day three is, how Carlos fits into Night Vale! So, as you do, I wrote a sappy fanfic about how Carlos sees Night Vale as his home! <3
> 
> This was a really cute fic to write, too! I enjoyed it!
> 
> Special thanks to my friend Courtney/logicalDemonness for beta reading this! <3

If the only tool you have is a hammer, you begin to see everything as a nail. If the only tool you have is an axe, you begin to see everything as wood. If the only tool you have is a bloodstone, you begin to see everything as an unending chain of sadness and terror you can do nothing but scream about. 

Welcome to Night Vale.

Well, it _has_ been a week, hasn’t it, listeners? There are no words to describe this week, other than, it was a week, and it was a week that happened. A week where things happened, and things stopped happening. This week came, and this week went. The City Council held a conference today in which they said, in hushed monotone voices in complete unison, that no amount of passing travelers will ever disturb the life that the collective we of Night Vale live. They all nodded at the same time after saying this, and then continued to say, in a loud, screeching kind of voice, that they will swoop down and consume the next dark black van that passes through Night Vale, so something like last week _never_ happens again. 

Soooo...I guess that means we’re safe from malevolent outsiders, then? I hope they mean _malevolent_ outsiders, and not just outsiders in general. After all, while all outsiders are dangerous, some are a lot less dangerous than others. Some stop being dangerous entirely, even. Some outsiders were never really dangerous at all, and were in fact, wonderful people with wonderful hearts, and not to mention, wonderful hair and possibly no plans for dinner tonight? Carlos, call me after the show, I was thinking we could maybe grab dinner and go to the sand wastes for a drive? 

Ahem! Um, ah, let’s maybe talk about the news. 

Local literal five-headed dragon Hiram McDaniels has been allowed out of his cell once a week in order to partake in a few hours of community service that have been assigned to him, under the watchful eye of Trish Hidge, who will also be escorting him back and forth from the jail. 

“I won’t let him do anything funny,” said Hidge, holding a power probe in her hand and gesturing towards McDaniels, who was cleaning up the old bird skulls and feathers littered around the outside of the post office, “I also won’t let him do anything that’s not funny. You know, like eating people. That’s not funny. Laughing at people getting eaten makes you a jerk. I’m not going to let him do anything that isn’t community service.”

Hidge then waved the electric probe in front of the reporters, which caused them to recoil backwards several feet. According to Hidge, the probe was able to shock someone with at least a couple thousand kilowatts, which was enough to temporarily stun a literal five-headed dragon doing community service. 

The Night Vale Public Library has been the source of several strange, scream-like noises for the past few days. According to Tamika Flynn, local high schooler and leader of a group of well-read children soldiers, the source of the noise has been several _baby_ Librarians. Apparently, this is the only year in several billion in which they breed, as Tamika learned by simply asking them. The Librarians, too terrified to not speak directly to her, gave her an answer to her question and also offered her several books with no return date if she promised to leave. Tamika agreed, and then left, with a few copies of Jane Austen’s Mansfield Park. According to Tamika, the baby librarians were actually kind of cute. Actually, Tamika sent me a picture, and though I can’t see all of it since the actual picture is kind of clouded up, it looks like they have the cutest little eyes and wings, and just the sweetest little toothy smile. Aww, they’re like a shark, with that nose of theirs! Oh, you know, I’d totally pet one if they weren’t the kind of thing that grows up to be absolutely terrifying, like most things in this world become after an indeterminate amount of time. 

Oh...hmmm. Listeners, I know I try to keep a...professional air on this show, and try not to bring my personal life into things. But trust me when I say, this is a very professional thing I am about to say, in my professional and journalistic opinion. Carlos has been texting me almost nonstop throughout the course of the show. With dinner plans, of course; he says we maybe can’t go to the sand wastes for a drive, but ordering in sounds like a good idea. Just what I expect from a man as clever and ingenuous as him. Oh, oh, and also, he says that...oh, oh no...this isn’t right, is it? He says that people have been extremely wary of outsiders today, and that his danger meter has been up by 75% when he’s been around in town, and his danger meter was only that high when he first came to Night Vale, when nobody felt he belonged here. Hmm. Listeners, I am...aware that everyone is on the qui vive in light of last week, but, trust me when I say, Carlos is not a person to be afraid of. Remember, the dark vehicles full of unspeakable horror were here with reprobate desires, and wanted to cause all kinds of destruction! Our dear Carlos would never dream of that. Seriously, I’ve shared dreams with him, and they never involve terrible things like that. Carlos may not have been born in Night Vale, but he belongs here, listeners.

Let’s hear a word from our sponsors. 

Do you feel them? The centipedes in your bed? Of course you don’t. You don’t feel anything. You never feel their hundred legs scampering over your legs at night as they crawl around in your sheets. You don’t feel this because you don’t want to. You don’t want to admit to yourself that you have a bed full of centipedes that squirm and scuttle and crawl absolutely everywhere. But why? Why do you ignore the centipedes? Don’t you know they’re totally harmless? They’re tiny; their venom won’t kill you. Nothing they do can harm you. They’re there, and they don’t feel good as they press their hundreds of legs into your own two legs and crawl across them all night, writhing in a mass on your legs. But that’s all they can do. All they can do is be there, but they can’t hurt you. It’s time to accept the centipedes living in your bedsheets today.

Save money, live better. Wal-Mart.

Urgent news, Listeners. When City Council was approached about the issue of outsiders being aggressively approached, they suddenly sank into the floor into puddles of a dark black liquid that smelled of burned rubber. Look, I’m not the best at deciphering their weird but wise ways of communication, but...that must mean they don’t agree with what’s going on, right? After all, they did say that they would only attack outsiders that meant harm. I mean. They did say that, right? I am almost positive they said that, and I am not pretending they said that in lieu of my own doubt becoming more overpowering than any sense of optimism I once had on the situation.

And now, horoscopes.

Pisces: Looking good today, Pisces! Really good. Really good. _Reeeeeeeaaaaaallllyyyy good_! You’re sure to attract to attention of a lot of government helicopters this week! Stay looking sharp, Pisces!

Aries: Avoid traveling, Aries. In fact, avoid moving at all. Remain immobile in your bed and stare at the ceiling, feeling yourself slowly sink into a self-induced paralysis that leaves you alone with your thoughts, unable to interact with the physical world at all. Avoid any and all movement. Avoid it, Aries.

Taurus: It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s...oh god, WHAT IS THAT???? Oh. Oh, sorry. My mistake. It’s just a bird. Sorry, I shouldn’t have scared you like that. A pretty big one, though, probably an eagle. Jeez. My vision’s so bad.

Gemini: Be careful with your milk, Gemini. Last time it was spider eggs. It might continue being spider eggs. We can’t tell you for sure if you’ll have spider eggs next time, but you need to be careful.

Cancer: Things are looking good this week, Cancer! It only looks like you’ll face fifteen near-death encounters while you walk to work! And get this; most of them won’t be a spontaneous crack in the ground! Lucky you!

Leo: Maybe stop asking about whether or not you have a ghost haunting you or not. Seriously. The ghost haunting you is getting seriously self-conscious. They just want you to stop asking and accept it.

Virgo: Think deeply, Virgo. Think very, very deeply. Imagine yourself tunneling into the ground, past the earth’s crust and mantle, right into the core of the earth, and staying there in blistering heat and imagine yourself tunneling through and popping out on the other end of the earth. No, no, Virgo. You need to think deeper than that.

Libra: The stars would like to remind you that your lucky dance does not work, at all, and that you just look silly when you do your lucky chant dance. But it does work at making them laugh, so maybe keep doing that if you want to give the stars something goofy to laugh about. Otherwise, cut it out, you look ridiculous.

Scorpio: Okay, seriously, what kind of a shirt was that last week? Like, honestly, that was the most boring design on a polo shirt I’ve ever seen. I know that you said you wanted to look professional, and I respect that, Ste--ahh, Scorpio. Scorpio. That’s what I meant to say. But seriously, maybe add some flair to it? Maybe wear a boa or something? Anything to make that boring solid shirt look good. Seriously. It’s just such a bad look for you.

Sagittarius: Believe in yourself, Sagittarius. I mean it. You’re going to fade out of existence if you don’t. Other people believe in you, but you need to believe, too. Also, believe in other things, like toothpaste. That’s fading out of existence too, and people need it.

Capricorn: You will have an infestation this week. An infestation of what? Termites? Rats? Locusts? Sand leeches? You’ll just have to find out! And maybe buy a lot of plywood and limestone. A lot of it. Seriously. You’re going to need it.

Aquarius: Look up, Aquarius! Seriously, look up. You keep walking into things. Is that your third lamp post this week? Bring your eyes up off the ground and look in front of you so you don’t hit yourself in the face so much. Okay, listen, I...I don’t even bang my face into the lamp post that much? I don’t know where the stars are getting this. I do it maybe like...four times...a day...okay, that’s, that’s a lot, alright, but...whatever. 

This has been horoscopes. 

Oh, dear. Oh, no, no, no, this isn’t good...

Carlos is texting me. He says there’s people outside. He says they’ve been shoving envelopes under the doorway all day, and that they’ve been sending emails, too, about how he doesn’t belong here. Carlos says they won’t go away, and that some of them are banging on the door, making guttural moans and some of them clawing at the door, chanting the word “interloper” over and over. He says they won’t leave...he’s tried asking nicely, but they’re not leaving.

Listeners, I need to go help Carlos. Whether Night Vale as a whole considers him a member of the community or not, I know that I at least consider him a member of this community, and a member of my family. And my boyfriend, and soon to be fiancé. And for this reason, I need to go and help him. 

While I go help my wonderful Carlos, I take those of you who are not attacking outsiders to...the Weather.

* * *

I have returned, listeners, to speak to you. To speak to all of you. To speak to the yous that were perhaps not here for me to speak to you just a few minutes earlier. I have returned, listeners, to speak to you all about what has happened.

Carlos is, thankfully, perfectly safe. When I arrived at my house while I was gone, I found our house was absolutely surrounded. There was what seemed to be a whole hoard of people surrounding the home that Carlos and I share, and I immediately panicked, fearing for the life of the man I love most, the man I care about so deeply. 

But when I pushed back all of the people at our front door, I saw Carlos was standing outside on the front doorstep, perfectly okay! I asked him what was going on, and if he was okay, and if anybody harmed him, and...and he just giggled!

“Of course I’m okay,” he said to me, waving his arms around in a wide, sweeping gesture, “and so is everybody else!”

“But what about all the people here?” I asked, seriously concerned and confused (so really, not too different from our basic state of being), “didn’t they try to break in and hurt you?”

“They did,” said Carlos, lowering his arms, “but it didn’t take long to remind them, Cecil, that Night Vale is my home as much as it is anyone else’s. I told them that even if I was not born in Night Vale, and even if I do not remember how I found Night Vale exactly or even when I came here exactly, it is still a place I am in. It is still a place I am in that I call home. It is still a place and a community that I am a part of. I am a scientist here, Cecil. Just like how the Glow Cloud, uh, all hail, is the PTA president and a very good chess player and parent. Even if there are people here who are not from Night Vale, that does not mean their home is not here. And everyone understood that.”

I looked around, and the people who had once been tormenting Carlos were nodding in approval, eyes closed, and gently humming. I looked back at Carlos, and he was doing the same. And I realized, listeners, that they were all at peace.

Carlos is home here. Carlos belongs here. Perhaps, as he said, he was nor born here, but he is still a scientist here. He still provides our community with much-needed scientific insight, and still provides our community with all kinds of scientific help, too. Carlos is nothing like the shadowy beings that drove into town last week in their dark, decrepit vans and caused pain and suffering to much of our town. Carlos is not one of those outsiders. Carlos is not an outsider that wants to harm those who have lived in Night Vale all their life. Carlos is an outsider that wants to do just the opposite; to be a normal citizen of Night Vale who belongs here. And I, for one, listeners, think he does a phenomenal job at that.

Perhaps, Carlos isn’t even an outsider. 

Just someone who found his home. 

All of us are looking for a home; some of us have not found it yet. Some of us are still searching for the place we call home, and know that wherever we are is not home. But we will all find it someday, whether it be early in our life or much longer in the future. But a home is a place you feel you belong, and no matter when you find it, listeners, you will. And I am proud to say that I live in a town where so many people feel at home, and proud to say that I love calling Night Vale my home.

Stay tuned next for the foretelling of all the mistakes you will make in your life, unavoidable mistakes that will inevitably be a source of a lot of annoyance and anger for you but will also inevitably be solved. Maybe. Nothing is certain. 

And goodnight, Night Vale.

Goodnight. 


End file.
